Something Missing
by bionic4ever
Summary: A different take on how Steve and Jaime could've resumed their relationship. Jaime has left Chris because something undefinable was missing. Helen thinks she knows exactly the friend for Jaime to lean on.
1. Chapter 1

**Something Missing**

Chapter One

It had been uglier than she'd intended and much harder than anticipated, and as Jaime set her suitcases on the floor in front of the generic-looking hotel dresser, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad she'd found the strength to do what needed to be done, and a little surprised that she wasn't crying. Jaime had left Chris, and realized as she sank wearily onto the bed that she had absolutely no idea what to do next.

Jaime's thoughts were interrupted by the ringing telephone. Her stomach sank – Chris, already? But of course, it wasn't; there was only one person who knew where to find her. _Helen. _"Hi, Mom," she said after picking up the receiver.

"How are you, Dear?" Helen's kind voice asked, very gently.

"I'm...ok, I guess," Jaime told her. "It's over."

Helen hadn't expected Jaime to be turning cartwheels, but she was alarmed by the quiet, unspoken sadness in her voice. "Jaime -?" she prompted, knowing her surrogate daughter had a lot more to say.

"I hurt him so badly, Mom," Jaime reflected. She knew Chris had been very close to proposing, and the look in his eyes as she walked away told her she'd broken his heart. "I just hope I did the right thing..."

"You listened to your heart – that's never wrong." Helen listened closely, but Jaime's only response was a grief-filled sigh. She wished she and Jim were in California and not halfway around the world, but Helen had an idea she thought might help. "Jaime, my heart is hugging you close right now, but you need more than that. Steve is close by, over at the Air Force base. I could give him a call, and -"

"This...isn't his problem. I don't wanna bother Steve with this..."

"You _know_ he won't see it as a bother; he'd _want_ to be there for you, Dear. I'm not trying to set you up on a date, either – you two were best friends long before you were anything else, and -"

"Yeah," Jaime conceded. "A friend would be good, if you're sure he's not too busy..."

"Too busy for you? Never. Why don't you lie down, rest a little while, and I'll call him."

"Mom, thank you." Jaime hung up the phone and as she laid back onto the pillow, she finally allowed herself to cry.

- - - - - -

Less than an hour later, Jaime heard a special knock on the door that she hadn't heard since childhood. "Our special knock," she said softly as she opened the door. "Hi, Steve."

Steve's eyes were sympathetic, kind and – yes – loving, as he took in every detail about the woman he still cared for so deeply. In one hand, he carried a tray with two large cups of coffee and a bag of donuts, and in the other he held a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Take your pick," he told Jaime, setting everything down on the dresser while she closed the door.

Jaime managed a slight smile. As always, Steve's instincts were spot-on. "Right now, I could really use the drink." She sat down at the little table by the window, and Steve joined her, bringing the bottle and pouring a glass for each of them.

"Talk to me?" he said soothingly.

"What did Helen tell you?"

"Just that you were having a rough time and might need someone to talk to."

"Oh." Jaime had no idea where to start.

Steve did. "You're been crying."

"Yeah."

"And I can see you're feeling extremely verbal today."

"Sorry..." Hearing herself give yet another one-syllable answer, Jaime laughed, just a little.

"Jaime, whatever it is, whatever has you hurting like this, I'll help you any way I can; you know that. Even if you just need someone to listen, I'm here."

"I left Chris," she blurted out, forcing back another flood of tears.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No. I...I hurt him. He didn't do anything wrong – he was never anything but good to me. I just...left him."

Steve reached over to the bedside table, grabbed the box of Kleenex and handed it to Jaime. She wasn't crying, but he sensed that soon, she would be. "Well," he began slowly, "I've known you for pretty much your whole life. You wouldn't do that without a damn good reason and a whole lot of thought." He took a stab in the dark that wasn't really dark at all. "It tore you apart inside, to even think about it. And it's still tearing at you, right now."

Jaime looked up, startled. It was as though Steve had just peered directly into her soul. From anyone else, such deep insight would've been frightening, but from Steve, it just felt so...comforting, and _right_.

"It wasn't anything Chris did wrong," Jaime repeated. "It wasn't another man, either," she added quickly.

"I know _you_ well enough to know that. Cheating just isn't _in _you."

"Something wasn't right, Steve. I don't know what it was, but something that should've been there, just...wasn't."

Steve nodded his complete understanding. He'd felt exactly the same way when he'd forced himself to go on a few of the blind dates his friends had been urging him to try. This wasn't the time to tell Jaime about that, though, because in Steve's case, he knew what had been missing, and she was sitting mere feet away from him, sharing a bottle of wine. He didn't even dare to hope, but he had to wonder: was Jaime missing him, too?

"You and Chris were together a long time..." he observed in a gentle voice.

"Almost a year."

"You seemed happy together." He'd run into them as a couple a few times: at an OSI conference, Thanksgiving with Jim and Helen and at Jaime's last check-up in DC. He'd seen, to his relief, that Chris was good to her – gentle, _loving –_ and although it pained Steve deeply to see the only woman he'd ever loved in the arms of another man, his primary concern had always been her happiness. "Did you love him, Jaime?" the friend in him asked, trying to draw her out and get her talking so he could begin to help her.

"Yes...no...I – I don't know anymore," she whispered. "I thought I did, and I never meant to hurt him. Once I knew it wasn't right – that my heart wasn't in it the way it should've been – I didn't wanna draw it out and make it worse, and I thought a fast, clean break would be a lot less painful in the long run than stringing him along."

"And you'd be 100 percent right about that," Steve confirmed.

Tears filled Jaime's eyes. "Steve...the look on his face...the _pain _I caused him...he didn't deserve that..."

"Chris deserved the truth, though," he told her. "If you didn't feel it was working, you did the right thing by being honest with him." Steve longed to reach out and hold the grieving woman close in a comforting hug, but touching her didn't seem appropriate yet. "Do you have someplace to stay, other than this charming little hovel?"

"I'll be ok here..."

Steve knew that being alone in this ugly little room was the absolute worst way to start healing a broken heart. "Jaime, please don't think I'm trying to make a move on you; I'd never do that while you're hurting like this. You shouldn't be alone now, though, and I have a spare bedroom you could use, for as long as you needed to. Plus, two waterproof shoulders and an empathetic ear from your best friend." Jaime didn't answer, her tears and her overwhelming need for the support of _this _friend making words impossible. Steve, like he usually did, read the answer in her eyes. "C'mon – let's get you outta here."

- - - - - -


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Over the next two days, Jaime remained very quiet and introspective, almost apparition-like, going for long walks alone or sitting for hours at a time in the crook of a tree, thinking. Anyone else would've been growing alarmed by her demeanor, but Steve could tell she was merely sorting everything out in her mind, still adjusting to the major detour she'd chosen to take in her life and figuring out what it all meant in terms of her future. He didn't attempt to pry or assert his presence; he knew Jaime would seek him out, needing to talk, but only when she was fully ready to do so.

Early on the morning of the third day since Jaime had arrived, Steve watched from his bedroom window as she seated herself on a fence post and nuzzled with the horse that used to be hers. _She is **so **beautiful_, he thought to himself, in awe of the grace of her slightest movement and the way her hair gleamed in the light of the newly-risen sun. He was happy to see Jaime was finally opening up enough to interact with the animals, to seek the comfort of a warm, living being, and he sensed it wouldn't be long before she'd need the empathetic ear he'd made certain she knew he'd always have available to her.

Steve was willing to do anything that might start to ease the pain in Jaime's eyes and put the lightness back into her step. He longed with his whole heart to see her smile again, to hear her laugh...to be able to _help_. As he watched her mount the horse and take off in the direction of the river, Jaime's slightly quivering shoulders told Steve she was crying, and his empathetic soul cried _with_ her and _for_ her, until long after she'd ridden out of sight.

- - - - - -

Jaime reined the horse to a stop at the river's edge, dismounted and sat down next to the water, her knees drawn up to her chest, already lost in thought, remembering...

_Chris was smiling lovingly at Jaime as she opened her eyes and rolled over in bed. "Good morning," he said as he kissed her softly. Jaime's heart sank; today was **the** day, and although she knew it wouldn't be fair to Chris for her to continue on the same as always, she would've rather had every one of her teeth pulled without anesthetic than do what she'd decided had to be done. Some people might've chosen an easier way out – a note, perhaps – but they'd shared too much, been too close for too long; Chris deserved the dignity of a face-to-face explanation. Jaime only wished she had a good one._

_She'd been straightening up the living room the previous day, and as she was putting things away, she'd stumbled upon a small box, hidden in the back of the bottom drawer of Chris's desk. Instead of being filled with joy and excitement, Jaime's heart shattered when she saw the ring. She'd been gradually coming to the realization that she didn't feel quite the way she'd thought she should with Chris, and now she knew without any doubt remaining that she had to act, before things became a whole lot more complicated._

_In her mind, she could clearly picture another time, in her past, with another man and another diamond ring. Her heart – no, her entire **being** – had been bursting with unimaginable happiness and love. Why was it that, no matter how badly she wanted to or how hard she tried, she couldn't feel that same glow now? Chris was kind, gentle and so very good to her. How could she dare to even think about hurting him this way?_

The horse gently nuzzled Jaime's hair, sensing her pain, and Jaime thanked him with a few soft strokes before turning back toward the water.

- - - - - -

Steve poured himself another cup of coffee from the pot Jaime had left for him. He thought about packing a picnic lunch and heading out to find her, but he didn't want her to feel pressured to talk or to be with him, even as a friend, before she was ready. When the phone rang, Steve wondered who'd be calling him this early, before most people would even be out of bed.

"Hello?"

"Steve? It's Chris – Chris Williams."

_Oh, God._ Steve knew Jaime was firm about Chris not finding out where she was, saying that a clean break had to be exactly that, and a total, complete separation would be far less painful for everyone involved. "Good morning, Chris. What can I do for you?" He was careful to keep his voice friendly but neutral.

"I'm...looking for Jaime. She wouldn't happen to be there, by chance, would she?" He asked in a defeated voice that sounded as though he hadn't slept in days, possibly since Jaime had left him.

"No – I haven't seen her," _in the last hour,_ Steve added in his head, to keep it from being a total lie.

"She hasn't called you in the last few days, has she?" Chris inquired. "It's...really urgent that I speak with her."

"I'm sorry, Chris. I don't know what to tell you."

"Well, if you do hear from her, or if she stops by, could you please ask her to call me, as soon as possible? It's very important – to both of us."

"I certainly will," Steve promised. When the conversation was over, he was struck by a renewed urge to find Jaime, to _tell her_, but Chris hadn't sounded angry or dangerous in any way – only very, very sad – and the last thing Steve could bring himself to do was cause Jaime any more pain.

- - - - - -

_"**Why**, Jaime?" Chris had pleaded. "What did I do -?"_

_"It's nothing you did," Jaime told him gently. "I'm so sorry; I hate doing this..."_

_"Then **don't**! Please, Baby, we can fix this. Please don't go."_

_Jaime had been overwhelmed with emotions: grief, regret and fear of the unknown, but her resolve never wavered. "I'm sorry, Chris. I don't know how to explain it, but...something's missing, and it's something you deserve to have -"_

_"I already have everything I need, if I have you – don't you see that? I love you, Jaime. I need you! Don't do this to us -!"_

_Chris had stopped talking when he realized that he was suddenly, irrevocably alone._

_- - - - - -_

Jaime stood up and, tears falling in torrents down her face, she walked into the cool, crisp water in an attempt to clear her head. Yes, she'd been happy with Chris, but they'd _worked_ at it, keeping their relationship front-and-center in their lives through constant – but not totally unpleasant – effort. _Shouldn't love just **be**_? Jaime thought to herself and she dove beneath the rippled surface of the river. _If you have to try that hard, it just isn't love._ She and Steve had always been so comfortable, so...easy together, when they'd been in love. Wasn't that how love was _supposed_ to feel?

- - - - - -


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Steve had barely poured another cup of coffee after the phone call from Chris when the phone rang again. Annoyed, he nearly tore the receiver off the cord when he picked it up.

"What now?" he snarled, sure it was Williams again.

"Good morning, Pal," Oscar said cautiously. "Nice to hear you so chipper."

"Oh – huh?" Steve stammered. "I'm sorry; I thought you were -"

"Chris Williams?" Oscar interrupted.

"How'd you know that?"

"I'm in Intelligence, remember?" Steve didn't laugh at what would normally have passed as a joke between them, and Oscar didn't either. "Have you heard from Jaime lately?" he asked his operative.

Steve chuckled at the irony. "Seems to be the topic of the day."

"What? Never mind. Steve, Chris just called me, looking for Jaime and sounding like it was life or death."

"It might be, if he doesn't knock it off," Steve muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

"What's going on out there?" Oscar demanded. "And if you say 'nothing' again, I'll be on a plane faster than -"

"Jaime left Chris," Steve blurted out. "Three days ago. She's pretty upset, and I know she doesn't wanna see him right now."

"Where is she?"

"I told Williams she wasn't here – that I hadn't heard from her – but...she's staying in my guest room."

"Oh."

"Oscar, no; it isn't like that. Jaime needed a friend..."

"I didn't think that for a second, Pal. I know you'd never hurt Jaime, or take advantage of the situation. But I have a feeling Chris might be headed your way," Oscar warned.

"Did he say that?"

"No, but he asked if Jaime was with you – asked it several times, in fact -"

"How'd he sound?"

Oscar knew what his friend was asking. "He didn't sound like he was raging or homicidal, but he did seem determined to talk to her."

"He'll have to talk to me first," Steve said firmly, "and **_I_** am as far as he's gonna get."

- - - - - -

Her swim had done exactly what Jaime had hoped: calmed her nerves by draining some of the extreme stress. She stretched out at the river's edge, able to think much more clearly now. The breeze was picking up, but the air was warm and while Jaime watched the ripples in the water turn to small waves, her thoughts and memories took another turn, as well. To her own surprise, she began thinking about her sex life with Chris. It wasn't that it had been terrible – far from it – but there, too, something vital was missing. Jaime thought about Steve and how the earth itself seemed to truly move when they'd been together, and suddenly she realized the vast difference between having sex and _making love._ Smiling now, her tears forgotten, Jaime called for her horse and started down the trail, back to the house.

- - - - - -

Steve took his third cup of coffee onto the front porch, where he anxiously waited for Jaime. He had to tell her about Chris's call – he couldn't lie to her, never could – but what, exactly should he say? He'd have to wing it; Jaime was jogging briskly down the trail beside the horse. Steve could see, even from a distance, that for the first time in three days she actually looked _happy._ He wished with all his heart that her smile could last just a little while longer.

Jaime returned the horse to its corral and sat down on the porch steps next to Steve. "Morning, Sleepyhead," she said brightly. She noticed right away that his mood didn't match her own. "Steve – what's wrong?"

"There was a phone call while you were gone."

Jaime's eyes grew wide. She could only think of one reason for someone to call before the day had even begun. "Something happened to Dad?" she guessed. "Or...Mom?"

"No, nothing like that." Steve took her hand. "Jaime, Chris called – looking for you."

"Oh, no...he...knows I'm here?"

Steve, trying to assess the situation from her reaction, didn't see fear in Jaime's eyes – only sadness and pain. "I told him I hadn't heard from you." When Jaime gave an audible sigh of relief, he shook his head. "I don't think he believed me. He called Oscar, too, and Oscar got the impression..." Steve's voice trailed off when he saw the happy glow had completely disappeared from Jaime's face.

"What?" Jaime asked softly.

Steve took a deep breath. "Oscar thinks Chris might be on his way down here, to try and see you."

"I should call him." Jaime rose reluctantly to her feet.

Steve followed her into the house. "It's your decision, but I don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't want him coming here, to your house. This isn't your problem, Steve."

"I'm your _friend_; that makes this _our _problem." He longed to hold her tightly – protectively - in his arms, to stop her from making her phone call, but she wasn't _his_. This was Jaime's move to make, but Steve would be right behind her, watching her back, no matter what.

"Answer your damn phone," Jaime was muttering. Steve placed a gentle hand on her arm for support and found she was shaking. A few seconds later, she hung up the receiver. "He...didn't answer," she whispered, her back to Steve.

From the tone of her voice, Steve had to ask, one more time: "Jaime..._Did Chris hurt you_?"

"You mean physically? No; Chris would never do that."

"You seem...afraid," he said gently, as he led her to the couch.

"I don't want him coming here." Jaime took several deep breaths. "When I left Chris, he asked me if there was someone else, _and_ he also asked me if it was you. If he's on his way here, it means he still thinks that way."

"So? Let him think what he wants. You don't have to talk to him - you owe him nothing. I'll get rid of him for you, and you won't even have to see -"

"No."

"If you want to see him, or -" Steve sighed inwardly, not letting her hear it, "if you've decided to go back with him, I won't stand in the way."

"No. That isn't it. Steve, I said he'd never hurt me, and he wouldn't. I'm just afraid that if he's upset enough, he could try to hurt you."

- - - - - -


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

In spite of Steve's best efforts to calm and reassure her, Jaime spent the morning pacing the living room like a caged animal. She was still frightened, afraid Chris might try to hurt Steve, but even more than that, Jaime was _angry_. She'd _left_ Chris – he had no hold over her and no claim to her, so why was he trying to find her? What on Earth did he think he'd accomplish?

When noon came and went, Jaime grew increasingly restless. "What is he _doing_? Is this his revenge – making me wait and worry?"

"You're giving him too much power," Steve said quietly.

"Excuse me?"

"Jaime, if he was doing this to upset you, you're letting him win."

Jaime sank down into the old rocker in the corner, her head buried in her hands. "You're right." _Damn – he knows me better than I know myself, _she thought, too upset to look at him. Her ear picked up a sound she'd been hoping not to hear: Chris's car was turning down the driveway. "He's here," she announced, getting up.

"I'll get rid of him. He doesn't even need to know you're -"

"Thank you, but this has to end, and I'm gonna go end it. Now." Resolutely, before she could lose her nerve, Jaime went out onto the porch and stood, arms folded across her chest and her eyes flashing angrily, as Chris's car screeched to a stop. Steve stood out of sight behind the curtains, the window open and his every sense alert, in case she suddenly needed help or support. If Jaime were _his_, Steve would've _insisted _that she wait in the house, but...she wasn't, and he couldn't.

Jaime stormed down the steps and stood her ground directly in front of Chris. "What the _hell_ are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I should be asking you that," Chris retorted. "I thought you said there wasn't anyone else."

"There wasn't – there isn't!"

"Yeah, that's why you're here, with him."

"That's not fair. Steve and I are friends; we've been friends since we were little kids. Besides, I didn't call him – Helen did. She knew I might need a friend to -"

"Isn't that special? Everyone rallies around poor Jaime," Chris said bitterly. "It must've been so tough on you, sticking the knife in my back, then twisting it in my heart."

Jaime stared at him in disbelief. "You don't know me at all, then, do you?" Silent tears began streaming down her cheeks. "Chris, the _last_ thing I wanted to do was hurt you -"

"You did a pretty good job -"

"I – I'm sorry, but you'd have been hurt a lot more if I'd stayed. We both would've been..."

"You weren't hurt at all; you turned tail and ran away."

Jaime's jaw dropped, and although she fiercely brushed her tears away, new ones immediately took their place. "You don't think I'm hurting over this?"

"Not if you had Steve's arms to fall into for comfort."

"I came out here to talk to you, to try and make things right, maybe reach an understanding, but I'm not gonna stand here and listen to baseless stupidity!" Jaime whirled on her heels to head back into the house, but Chris reached out and grabbed her left arm, wrenching her back in his direction.

"Uh-uh. You're not walking away until we're done."

"_You're done now_," Steve insisted, flying from the house as soon as he saw Chris put his hands on Jaime. "Let go of her, Williams. Jaime, go wait in the house, please."

"Steve -"

"**Now** – _please_."

"She's not yours to give orders to, Austin," Chris said through clenched teeth, as he took a menacing step toward Steve.

"She isn't yours, either." Steve matched the forward step with one of his own. The two men were now just feet apart. "She's not a possession that _belongs_ to anyone! At least I'm looking out for Jaime's best interests."

"And I'm not?"

"The only person you're interested in right now is Chris Williams," Steve told him, trying to keep a rein on his own anger. "Jaime came outside to try and help you feel better about things, to talk everything out." He looked over at Jaime, who had moved halfway onto the porch and was staring at the ground, sobbing quietly. "You didn't come here to try and work things out or to talk to her, did you Chris?"

"Right," Williams sneered, "I drove all this way just for my health."

"No, you drove all this way so you could hurt her like you feel she hurt you. If you did want Jaime back, that was exactly the wrong way to do it."

Chris began to move toward Jaime, but Steve stepped into his path, directly and purposely blocking his way. "Jaime -" Chris began.

"Wrong," Steve corrected. "You finished talking to her the second you put your hands on her. You're talking to me now."

"Get out of the way, Steve," Chris seethed. "Jaime, let's go home now. We can talk all you want to, and we'll work this all out – I know we will." He extended a hand toward his former girlfriend, and Steve stepped in the way of that, too. "I said, get out of my way!"

Jaime looked up just in time to see Chris draw his fist back, and time seemed to freeze. _He's not that stupid...is he? If he takes a swing at Steve..._Jaime knew that one blow from a bionic fist would lay Chris out flat – or worse. Taking a swing at Steve would be suicidal on Chris's part, and yet...

**_Thwack!_** Deathly silence blanketed the air after the punch. Steve stood his ground, but before he could react and before Chris could swing again, Jaime was instantly between them. She turned to Chris with white-hot anger, grabbed the front of his shirt with her right hand and slapped him with all the strength contained in her left. She'd known instinctively that Steve had been about to do a lot more than slap Chris – that he'd risk anything to protect her. If she'd known that, she wondered very briefly why her instincts hadn't also told her what Chris would do, and then suddenly, Jaime knew the answer to all of her questions, realizing what her instincts had known all along.

Jaime gave Steve's hand a slight squeeze of solidarity, working her fingers into his fist until he opened his hand. She then moved to stand with her face inches away from Chris's. He may have thought she was about to apologize, or maybe kiss him, but he'd have been very wrong.

"_Get out,_" Jaime told him. "Get in your car – now – and get the hell off this property, before you really have to regret it." She turned her back on her former lover without waiting to see if he'd comply; he really had no choice. Instead, she placed her hand in Steve's, and the two of them walked slowly into the house – **together**.

END


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